Middle-Earth Rhapsody

(parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" written by Freddie Mercury and performed by Queen)

GANDALF:
This is the real life
This is no fantasy
Caught in a grand sight
Nine hours of a trilogy
Bilbo disguised
Leave the ring behind and flee


FRODO: 
Who are these horsemen?
Why are they chasing me?

Because they seek the Ring of evil gold
Little guys, with Frodo
Everywhere the Ring goes
Eye of Fire's trying to seek
Seek me

LEGOLAS: 
Gandalf, you're back again
Thought the Balrog skinned your hide
But you're here and you're alive
Gandalf, died in Number One
But now he's back in white to save the day

ARAGORN: 
Gandalf, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Your dying scene made us all cry
But now we have to find Pippin and Merry
Soldier on, soldier on
Cause I'm the King of Gondor

Too late, our time is up
Helm's Deep we draw the line
Orcs with ladders try to climb
Don't tell anybody
A dwarf I'll throw
With my speed and sword I'll strive and kingship prove

THEODEN: 
Hama, ooh ooh ooh ooh
(Saved the king's throne)
Doesn't want to die
His untimely death will live on for evermore

SAM: 
I see a slinker stinker wretch oh it's Gollum

Get a noose, get a noose
From elven rope he'll dangle
Thunderbolts and lightning
Gollum's gonna strangle me

SMEAGOL / GOLLUM: 
Go away (No!)
Go away (No!)
Go away (No!)
Go away (No!)
Go away oh now you're gone
But did he go? Oh oh oh

PETER JACKSON: 
Time to return to the other hobbits' story
Meanwhile in Fangorn, Pippin and Merry
Taking a ride from a big talking tree

MERRY: 
Marching on Isengard - stamping to and fro

ENTS / SARUMAN: 
Tree-killer!
No - my name is Saruman - let me go
Tree-killer!
We will not let you go - let me go
Tree-killer!
We will not let you go - let me go
Wormtongue and Saruman - let us go

Never let you go - let us go
Never let you go - let us go
Never let you go - oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

SARUMAN: 
Oh Palantir, Palantir, Palintir where'd it go?

PIPPIN: 
The Evil One has a clever rock to help him see
Him see
Oh geeeeeeeeeee

FRODO: 
So you think you can trap me with spider surprise
So you think you can steal the ring and leave me to die?

Oh, Gollum
Don't do this to me Gollum
Just don't even try
Just don't try to bite off my finger

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Sauron's powers shattered
Everyone is free
Aragorn is clamoured
Now to the Grey Havens
To sea...

(Going where the elves go...)

Parody lyrics © 2003 Glenn Davies and Steve Jackson

This song was co-written with Steve Jackson from 24 to 26 June 2003. Steve came up with the idea in an email he sent me, and he came up with a few ideas for the three parts of the song. I came up with a few more lines, and over those couple days, we sent new bits back and forth via email and instant messaging. The joys of technology!